The Algorithmic Dictator

How One Evil Genius Used Tech to Enslave an Entire Nation

Picture this: an evil dictator, let’s call him Supreme Leader Algor Thrym. He sits in his volcanic lair, sipping artisanal coffee and stroking a hairless cat named WiFi. He’s not your typical tyrant with armies and missiles—no, no, he’s smarter than that. Supreme Leader Algor doesn’t need brute force when he has something far more powerful: algorithms.

In his infinite villainy, Algor realizes that controlling minds is way easier than controlling bodies. Why bother with tanks and guns when you can weaponize data? So, he creates The Algorithm—a diabolical digital overlord designed to predict, manipulate, and ultimately enslave the people of his fictional country, Scrollovia.

Step 1: The Hook

It starts innocently enough. The Algorithm rolls out the most addictive social media platform ever, called SnapTwitFaceTok. It’s free, easy to use, and, most importantly, it knows exactly what you want before you do. Cute dogs? Check. Celebrity gossip? Double check. Conspiracy theories about how bread is actually a government surveillance tool, with recipes for real bread? No problem. Every topic known to man and beast.

The people of Scrollovia are hooked. They scroll day and night, laughing at memes, sharing videos, and arguing over pineapple on pizza. They don’t notice that The Algorithm is quietly collecting every piece of data about them—what they like, what they hate, and what they secretly buy at 3 a.m. (Who needs a glow-in-the-dark toilet brush? You do!)

Step 2: The Trap

With enough data to fill an intergalactic hard drive, The Algorithm gets to work. Supreme Leader Algor starts tweaking what people see. A video about how great he is? That’s trending. A post criticizing his policies? Buried so deep you’d need a digital archaeologist to find it. Slowly, without anyone noticing, The Algorithm turns SnapTwitFaceTok into a propaganda machine. Sound familiar?

And here’s the evil genius part: Algor doesn’t ban dissent outright. Oh no, that’s too obvious. Instead, he uses The Algorithm to distract the masses with endless entertainment.

People stop caring about politics because they’re too busy debating whether cats or dogs make better TikTok influencers. Or because they’re trying to master the latest viral dance that makes them look like a malfunctioning robot.

What’s important? Epic arguments in the comments section over pineapple on pizza. People stop caring about politics because they’re convinced they can become internet famous livestreaming their hamster’s exercise wheel sessions. A new influencer is born every 90 seconds.

Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Algor is building statues of himself out of discarded iPhones.

Step 3: The Manipulation

Now that everyone’s glued to their screens, Algor ups the ante. The Algorithm begins curating personalized news feeds, showing each person exactly what they want to believe. For one group, it’s stories about how Supreme Leader Algor is a benevolent genius who personally invented rainbows. For another, it’s tales of how the neighboring country, Influenzistan, is plotting to steal their memes.

The result? Scrollovia is divided into echo chambers, each group convinced they’re the only ones who truly understand reality. People stop talking to each other, friendships crumble, and families argue over whether or not cats should wear tiny hats (spoiler: yes, they should). Meanwhile, Algor laughs maniacally, knowing that a divided population is easy to control.

Step 4: The Buy Button of Doom

But Algor isn’t just an evil genius—he’s also a capitalist. The Algorithm doesn’t just manipulate opinions; it manipulates shopping habits. Every citizen’s feed is filled with ads for products they didn’t know they needed but suddenly can’t live without. Shoes that walk for you. Juice boxes that double as flamethrowers. A subscription service for artisanal air.

Before long, the entire economy is controlled by Algor’s companies. Want to buy something? Better use his app. Need a loan? Hope The Algorithm likes your credit score. Even food deliveries from In-And-Out Burger come with a side of propaganda: “Enjoy your fries, courtesy of Supreme Leader Algor. Remember, dissent is unpatriotic!”

Step 5: The Ultimate Mind Control

By now, Scrollovia’s citizens are fully enslaved—not by chains, but by The Algorithm. They don’t even realize it. Life feels easy. Convenient. But every choice they make is an illusion. The Algorithm decides what they see, what they buy, and even who they date. (Spoiler: everyone gets matched with people who love Supreme Leader Algor.)

The scariest part? The people love it. Who needs free will when you have personalized content and same-day delivery? Sure, they’ve noticed that elections have been replaced with “Like if you agree Supreme Leader Algor is awesome!” campaigns, but hey, that’s democracy in the digital age, right?

The Great Escape?

Of course, not everyone is fooled. A small resistance group—led by a ragtag band of former coders, librarians, and one very angry grandma—begins to fight back. They create an anti-algorithm called FreeWill 2.0, designed to break The Algorithm’s control. But defeating Supreme Leader Algor is no small task. His grip on Scrollovia is tighter than the WiFi password at a coffee shop.

The resistance knows one thing for sure: to beat The Algorithm, people must rediscover what it means to think for themselves. They have to look away from their screens, question what they’re told, and start making choices without a digital puppet master pulling the strings. Is that still possible?

The Moral of the Story

Supreme Leader Algor Thrym might be fictional (for now), but the power of algorithms is all too real. We live in a world where invisible lines of code dictate what we see, what we buy, and, scarily, what we believe. It’s not hard to imagine how this could spiral into something dystopian—and maybe it already has.

So, the next time you find yourself scrolling endlessly, ask yourself: is this me, or is this The Algorithm? And if you hear a maniacal laugh in the distance, don’t worry. That’s just Supreme Leader Algor stroking his cat.