My life has been an incredible journey through many dimensions, not only of sight and sound but of mind. A wild and sometimes bumpy ride through surreal landscapes of the imagination, where reality bends and twists unexpectedly.. Around every corner, I expect to find the Twilight Zone. And I sometimes do.
Today, these journeys unfold against the backdrop of a world seemingly spiraling out of control. It appears to be worsening, although the older someone gets, the more they tend to believe that the world was far better in their youth. I hold many memories from my early days in New York—the sights, sounds, and aromas of Manhattan in 1957 have lingered with me through the eras, each marked by greater technological progress. But now, rather than liberating humanity, technology is eroding it, click by click. The world is transforming so swiftly on a global scale that stopping it seems impossible. I've certainly witnessed an age of decline. Still, don't worry—I haven't lost hope, yet it’s getting harder and harder to keep hope alive.
Many individuals harbor fears about AI, but I'm not among them. In my professional life, I leverage AI and have observed that its advantages significantly outweigh its disadvantages. While it's common for people to be apprehensive about new technology and change, I welcome both. I'm acquainted with numerous AI skeptics and empathize with their concerns. Nonetheless, it's undeniable that AI will instigate substantial transformations both culturally and globally.
For now, technology can’t really change aging, and that’s looming large on the horizon for me.
The marks of aging surround me—the memory slips, the changes in my vision and hearing, the constant loss of friends and cultural icons, and the undeniable decline in my body's overall functionality. Despite eating well and taking care of myself, I recognize that aging is an inevitable challenge that can't be conquered. Now, as I near seventy-five, there's no escaping this reality. I'm well aware of how this story ends. The final act is in sight, though its precise timing remains one of life's unsolved mysteries. With a bit of fortune and the benefits of modern medicine, I may have another decade or two left, or perhaps the curtain could fall as soon as next Tuesday. Thus, I embrace the wisdom of Ram Das: "Be here now.”
Have I learned anything?
I know I have grown in many ways. But sadly, I find myself repeating some of the same errors, recognizing that they are part of the learning curve. I don't follow any religion strictly, but I do consider myself a spiritual person. Some label me a "JewBu" since I am Jewish by heritage and a student of Buddhism. I appreciate the insights that come with a lifetime of experience. However, I often wish I had acquired this wisdom fifty years earlier. Sometimes, I imagine a different life, one where my seventy-five-year-old mind inhabits my twenty-five-year-old body. But life simply doesn't operate that way.
I can happily report I am lot more patient and understanding these days. That’s a good thing. Life in Mexico has really taught me the necessity of patience.
My Health
Over the past five years, I've faced several life-threatening health issues, including prostate cancer, open heart surgery, and a blocked carotid artery that could have ended my life had it not been for the discovery of a world-class Mexican heart surgeon. Reflecting on this period, I am immensely grateful to my primary care provider. During a routine exam, she detected something unusual and promptly arranged for me to have an echocardiogram and sonogram.
Looking back, the symptoms were present for over forty years. My migraines began in 1978 and had recently intensified and become more frequent. I speculated that it might be due to the altitude in Guanajuato, which is six thousand feet above sea level. Then, in the last six months, I started experiencing occasional respiratory difficulties, double vision, and unusual fatigue. Following a medical procedure, the placement of a stent and balloon in an artery, my migraines vanished instantly, significantly enhancing my quality of life. However, this improvement has raised a significant question: why hadn't the various doctors who examined me over the years correctly diagnosed my migraines and other symptoms? I underwent open heart surgery in 2021 and despite all the medical attention I received, no one thought to check my arteries? Even my primary care provider in Tucson, during an annual checkup the ten years before that, didn't detect my heart murmur. Or at least he didn’t tell me about it.
The quality of medical care varies greatly in every country and I’ve learned it is absolutely imperative to being one’s own advocate, otherwise it’s easy to get lost in the fray of providers and insurance companies, a truly inhumane bureaucracy which is much worse in the United States
Before I came to Mexico, I was very concerned about the quality of health care in this country. Thankfully, I’ve been to find excellent providers, although my American medicare isn’t accepted here. However, the cost of health care in Mexico is considerably less than in the US. It’s impossible to get health insurance here if you’re over 70 with a pre-existing condition. But I’m fortunate to be able to pay for my medical care.
The State of the World
What has become of our world? Humanity is, regrettably, a brutal species—a trait that seems unchanging. What's different now is the rapid speed at which information spreads globally. We live on a planet where countless individuals watch, observe, and view events through their devices, often feeling powerless. What can one person really do in such a scenario?
The situation in Gaza exemplifies a complex issue. I support Israel's right to exist and have long advocated for a two-state solution. Since Israel's establishment in 1948, there has been ongoing conflict with Arab groups opposing its existence. The continuous conflict has affected both Israelis and Palestinians. The unexpected Hamas attack on October 7th highlighted the severity of the situation and Hamas acted with frightening brutality. Now, months later, accusations of crimes against humanity are directed at Netanyahu's government, highlighting the suffering of the Palestinian people. The ongoing strife seems far from resolution, contributing significantly to the rise in global anti-Semitism, especially noticeable on American college campuses.
And the world sits by and watches.
The Changes in My Consciousness
I have always been in pursuit of knowledge, striving to enhance my life. My perspective on life, deeply influenced by Buddhism, motivates me to assist others whenever possible. Drawing from my own journey and observing others both closely and from a distance, I've come to understand the complexities of human experience. Knowing people for decades allows one to witness the spectrum of their highs and lows. Life can bring profound suffering, and for some, the burden is greater than for others. How we are affected by suffering depends on various factors—it can foster growth or lead to demise. It's often heart-wrenching to observe the challenges that befall those we know throughout their lives.
Our society often celebrates youth, overlooking the wisdom and experiences of older age. Strolling through New York City, I've noticed that age seems to make me invisible as younger faces draw more attention. Yet in Mexico, the attitude shifts dramatically. The elderly are not only noticed but revered, a stark contrast to my experiences back home.
Living in Mexico offers unique delights, especially the conversations I have with locals. Although my Spanish is a work in progress, the friendships I've formed here enrich my life. These interactions, filled with perspectives vastly different from my own, add depth to my experience. Embracing this new culture comes with challenges, but the rewards of connecting through shared stories are profoundly fulfilling. For me, although Mexican culture and history is fascinating, it’s the people here that really matter.
What Does the Future Really Hold
Predicting the future is a fool's errand. As I approach the milestone of three quarters of a century, I'm aware that my body isn't the powerhouse it once was. That's alright; I'm committed to caring for myself diligently to decelerate my physical decline.
Meanwhile, my mental health is flourishing. I find myself happier now than ever before, living in a beautiful setting, embraced by a loving, supportive community. I've found my soulmate, Sherrie Posternak, and our relationship continually enriches my life. Our home is a cozy haven that complements our creative pursuits.
I'm fortunate to engage in work that is challenging, fulfilling, and enjoyable. My latest endeavor, a documentary about Horace Silver, is the highlight of my career. This project, fueled by the compelling narrative and the impact of Horace's music on me, is exceptionally rewarding. It's not without its challenges, but as it evolves naturally, making it a joy to undertake.
This film, however, marks a turning point—it will be the last to resemble my previous work. My journey has largely been intertwined with the jazz world, a realm where I've joyfully spent much of my life, and my approach has remained consistent throughout. Yet, a significant shift looms on the horizon.
I want to tell different stories and looking ahead, I see AI in filmmaking as my future. I'll delve more into this after completing Horace's film, which is still a year away from wrapping up.
Looking at life, I can happily say: to be continued.
Zweig did not survive to the turmoil of the 20th century. We did. Let's survive to the challenges of the 21st. Let's find hope in darkness. The water may be filthy, the mud thick and gloomy, but the lotus will grow wide and beautiful.
I like your outlook on life. I know several people who have suffered less than you and yet still complain about their situation, even though their situation is envied by others who are less fortunate. Dharma.